For May, Sexual Violence Prevention Month, DWS will be posting more info about sexual violence, prevention, and consent.

Bar and restaurant staff! Learn skills to prevent sexual violence in this FREE & not boring workshop DWS is facilitating on May 24 & 31. More info and sign up here.

The most commonly asked questions in our consent workshops with youth is about alcohol and consent.

We know that alcohol is the most common weapon used in sexual assault and that folks shame and blame survivors for drinking.

Let’s Get Legal!

IMPORTANT! We’re not lawyers at DWS. This is only our interpretation of consent as it’s covered in the Canadian criminal code:

“Consent means, for the purposes of this section, the voluntary agreement of the complainant to engage in the sexual activity in question.”

• Voluntary agreement means that the person being asked wants whatever sexual activity is going to happen, that they are not being pressured or blackmailed.

“Consent must be present at the time the sexual activity in question takes place.”

• This means consent is time sensitive. You’ve gotta ask at the time that you’re getting sexy.

“No consent is obtained if:

1. the agreement is expressed by the words or conduct of a person other than the complainant”

   • You’ve gotta be the one to say ‘heck yes!’ Someone can’t consent to sexy times on your behalf.

2. “the complainant is unconscious;”

   • You’ve gotta be awake to consent.

3. “the accused counsels or incites the complainant to engage in the activity by abusing a position of trust, power or authority;”

   • Folks who have significant roles in peoples lives - doctor, lawyer, spiritual leader, teacher, coach, manager - can’t abuse the power they are given by encouraging folks with less power to have sex.

4. “the complainant expresses, by words or conduct, a lack of agreement to engage in the activity;”

   • We covered this one pretty well in the 90’s: No Means No. It’s also important to recognize all the different ways ‘no’ can look.

5. “the complainant, having consented to engage in sexual activity, expresses, by words or conduct, a lack of agreement to continue to engage in the activity.”

• Consent is ongoing. If someone said yes, then says no at any time during sexual activity, there is no longer consent.

“It is not a defence to a charge under this section that the accused believed that the complainant consented to the activity that forms the subject-matter of the charge if

• the accused’s belief arose from:

  1.  the accused’s self-induced intoxication,

  2. the accused’s recklessness or wilful blindness, or”

  • If someone forces or coerces someone into any sort of sexual activity, it’s not an excuse if they were drunk or intentionally ignoring signs of someone saying ‘no’.

•  “the accused did not take reasonable steps, in the circumstances known to the accused at the time, to ascertain that the complainant was consenting; or”

  • You gotta make an effort (reasonable steps) to get consent.

• “there is no evidence that the complainant’s voluntary agreement to the activity was affirmatively expressed by words or actively expressed by conduct.”

  • Consent has gotta be given in words, ‘heck yes!’, or actions, ‘leaning in for a kiss’.

Beyond Law

So…. That’s our take on the law. But the law is the bare minimum and who ever was super jazzed about the barest of minimums? “Whoooo hooooo! I’M GETTING PAID MINIMUM WAGE!!! IF IT WAS LEGAL TO PAY ME LESS THEY WOULD!!!”

(Also, we’re terribly aware that sexual assault is rarely reported to police and the law is rarely used. Folks tend to not make decisions based on law or morals, but by how their peer group might perceive them, which is why bystander intervention is such a fantastic and effective rape prevention strategy. )

We’re working to create a world based on consent and respect.

That doesn’t mean that every sexual activity has to be with someone you want to have a deep emotional connection with and a committed long-term relationship. Consensual hookups are totally possible. It means that you have to treat the person you want to do sexy things with with respect, even if you’re just going to have sex with them one time.

Alcohol and Culture

Try to think of one movie created for teens where characters get it on and there’s no alcohol involved. The options are very limited. We don’t have a lot of possibility models for healthy consent in our media.

There’s lots of reasons alcohol and sexuality are closely linked in our culture:

• rigidity around sexuality - folks believing needing alcohol to feel looser or more confident

• shoddy sex ed curriculums - folks need to learn what sex is, what sexual violence is, what coercion is, or that it’s illegal and wrong to get someone drunk so they’ll say ‘yes’

• sexual double standards like ‘she’s a slut, he’s a stud’ - lots of youth we work with let us know that if they get shamed for being sexy, they can use alcohol as an excuse, ‘I didn’t mean to. I was so drunk.’

• consent not yet a normal practice - until we have space to practice consent in safe ways and it’s seen in the media and by our friends, classmates, and peers, folks who practice awesome consent are going to be seen as outliers and weird. In fact, currently, our media normalizes sexual assault.

It’s heartbreaking that folks of all ages get shamed for having wants or desires or even being curious about sexuality.

We dream of a world where folks can ask for what they want without fear of being shamed or needing alcohol as courage or an excuse. Until then, we’re very aware that we’ve got to live in the world we’re in.

Punishment for Actions

Because of sexual double standards and rigid morality, there’s still a lot of folks who believe that women who have sexual desires should be punished.

We see this with rape myths about clothing - ‘She was asking for it’ - and rape myths about alcohol - ‘She should’ve known better than to drink so much.’

Lastly, SAVE bluntly tells the truth: “Just because she’s drunk, doesn’t mean she wants to f**K.”

Alcohol and Consent

You care about consent. You want to be respectful. Not all sexy time has to be 100% stone cold sober, but it’s important to question if we’re using alcohol and other substances safely and if we’re using it to avoid good clear communication.

Everyday Feminism has a S T E L L A R article - “5 Questions About Alcohol and Consent You’re Too Afraid to Ask, Answered” - that should be required reading for any human who wants to interact with other humans ever.

The article goes waaaaaay beyond the basics of the law and asks and answers:

1. Is Sex Always Nonconsensual When People Have Been Drinking?

2. How Much Do You Need to Drink to Be Unable to Consent?

3. What If Someone Said ‘No’ to Sex When Sober, But Then Said ‘Yes’ When Drinking?

4. What If They’re in a Relationship?

5. What If All People Involved Are Drinking?

Go! Read! This! Article! Now!

Have questions about alcohol and consent?

DWS’ support line has got your back 24 hours a day - 867.993.5086.

MORE SUPPORTS

YUKON SUPPORTS

Women’s Shelters:

• Whitehorse

  • Yukon Women’s Transition Home

  • 24 Hour Crisis Line - 867.668.5733

• Dawson City

  • Dawson Women’s Shelter

  • 24 Hour Support Line - 867.993.5086

• Watson Lake

  • Help and Hope for Families

  • 24 Hour Crisis Line - 867.536.7233

SART - Sexualized Assault Response Team

24 hour Yukon-based support for someone who has been sexually assaulted or their supporters. 1-844-967-7275
Website: yukon.ca/en/sartyukon/home

Victim Services Yukon

Victim Services provides help for victims dealing with a range of different crimes. It does not matter whether the victim has reported the crime, a charge has been laid or if there has been a conviction. We provide services to all people affected by a crime.
Whitehorse - 867-667-8500
Dawson City - 867-993-5831
Website: yukon.ca/en/legal-and-social-supports/supports-victims-crime/find-out-about-victim-services

CMHA Reach Out Support Line operates from 10am to 2am seven days a week with trained volunteers who will listen, support and help callers find options. 1-844-533-3030
Website: yukon.cmha.ca

Mental Wellness and Substance Use Services provides a variety of services, including individual counselling, outreach services, and community support. 1-866-456-3838
Website: yukon.ca/en/places/mental-wellness-and-substance-use-services

Tr’ondëk Hwëch’in Support Centre
Wellness is an important part of our spirit. The TH Wellness team uses a traditional approach to help our citizens. 867.993.7100 x164.
Website: trondek.ca/health.php

CANADA-WIDE SUPPORTS

Assaulted Women’s Helpline
Toll-free: 1 866-863-0511
Website: awhl.org

Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women Support Line a national, toll-free 24/7 crisis call line providing support for anyone who requires emotional assistance related to missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls. 1-844-413-6649
Website: rcaanc-cirnac.gc.ca

National Indian Residential School Crisis Line provides 24-hour crisis support to former Indian Residential School students and their families toll-free at 1-866-925-4419.
Website: sac-isc.gc.ca

Hope for Wellness Help Line is available to all Indigenous peoples across Canada who need immediate crisis intervention. Experienced and culturally sensitive help line counsellors can help if you want to talk or are distressed. 1-855-242-3310
Website: sac-isc.gc.ca

TransLifeline’s Hotline is a peer support service run by trans people, for trans and questioning callers. Our operators are located all over the U.S. and Canada, and are all trans-identified. We will do our best to support you and provide you resources. 1-877-330-6366.
Website: translifeline.org

Crisis Services Canada is available to all Canadians seeking support. If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call the Canada Suicide Prevention Service at 1-833-456-4566 (24/7) or text 45645 (7PM - 3AM PST).
Website: suicideprevention.ca

Kids Help Phone is available 24 hours a day to Canadians aged 5 to 29 who want confidential and anonymous care from professional counsellors. Call 1-800-668-6868 (toll-free) or text CONNECT to 686868
Website: kidshelpphone.ca