Helping A Friend
During 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, from November 25 to December 10, we call on everyone to take action!
SUPPORTING SURVIVORS
Telling someone about a sexual assault takes a tremendous amount of bravery. Most survivors never tell a helping professional about the violence they have experienced.
Step Zero
You might not think that any of your friends, family, neighbours, coworkers, or classmates are ever going to be abused. No one expects this, but we do have to prepare for it.
Like first aid, we can start by unlearning all the myths we have been taught about partner violence and sexual assault.
Check out the resources section of DWS’ website for lots of info on why violence happens and how we can take action.
I BELIEVE YOU. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.
When a friend trusts us with their story it’s important to:
Image created by Draw The Line
Believe them.
Let them know it’s not their fault. They did not cause the assault.
Listen. Listen. Listen. This can be really difficult as we want to jump in and help, but please sit with them and listen. It can be a really big gift to your friend.
Validate what ever feelings they are having. There is no right or wrong way to feel after an assault.
Ask their permission before doing research or sharing their story. Sexual assault takes a tremendous amount of power away from survivors. Trusting survivors to make their own decisions after an assault is key.
Ask if they’d like to explore options instead of giving advice. Avoid ‘shoulds’ , ‘musts’, and pressuring your friend to do what you think is right. Survivors get to choose what happens next. You can ask if they would like more information about getting medial care, collecting evidence, or reporting options, and as supporters, we have to be OK with the possibility of hearing ‘no’. Get to know the resources that they might need. Click here to learn about Dawson City helpers.
Get support for yourself. It can be tremendously hard to sit with a friend who has been hurt. You deserve support too. The tricky part can be getting confidential support. You’re the expert at taking care of yourself and know that DWS’ 24 Hour Support Line has got your back to help to brainstorm resources and with confidential supportive listening - 867.993.5086.
Listen to Survivors
Jen has a great twitter thread about how overwhelming the time after an assault can be and how we can best help our friends. Read the entire thread here.
IT CAN BE SCARY WHEN OUR FRIENDS ARE BEING ABUSED
You deserve someone confidential to chat with. DWS’ 24 Hour Support Line is there for folks supporting survivors - 867.993.5086.
Check out all the 16 Days of Activism events here:
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